I didn't have to work today so there isn't anything major that I feel the need to get out there. I was just thinking all day about a way to move forward with this blog and my mind kept wandering back to a man I talked to the other day. I made the call and was greeted by silence after about 3 rings. A few seconds passed, I said hello and the man on the other end seemed so angry that he had to answer the phone. If you don't want to answer, don't. Or better yet, don't get a phone at all. Any way, this man proceeds to scream something to the effect of who are you and what do you want. I went right in to the script I an asked to read including my name, where calling from, why calling, and what needs to happen to remedy the issue. The next minute was a blur to me. I tried really hard to figure out what language this man was speaking. I checked the location I called just to make sure it wasn't coded as a Spanish speaking home but I already knew the answer was no. It wasn't Spanish. German? gibberish? no, this guy was speaking some down-home-back-woods-mumble that I actually hear way to much. When he was done screaming at me I asked him if he had already mailed a payment.

Again the yelling.

I have no clue what this guy said so I followed up with a very neutral "pardon"? and it threw him again. I have at this point established a few things about him, this is really important with collecting money from people. You need to be able to read them or their attitudes with in the first few words and reactions to be most effective. He is not in a hurry cause he would have yelled then hung up. He wants to make a point because he is screaming so loud that my head set is breaking out. (This happens when the volume gets to high so it isn't damaging or uncomfortable to the Rep.)

I caught a few "fuck you"s and a couple "cock sucker"s but aside from that all I could understand was that he wasn't paying for his purchases to a local eating establishment and we could kiss his ass. I informed him in a very soothing tone, but not insulting, that I could understand that he is upset about the fees and that with his help I could cut most, if not all, of the fees off if he would agree to a settlement.

This time I understood him. He said, and I quote;

"Wuzz rowng wif ewe? Beech! Done sed I wuz-it gunnu pie ewes coke so-kurs. Ewe treeked a in-da ewesen dat foken theen. I wuz-it gunnu ewese sheet. Don ewe spek angleesh ewe beech?"

I had to mute my phone cause I started laughing so hard I snorted so during the silence he just kept going.

"Hiy. Beech! Ewe leesineeng?? Don ewe spek angleesh??!!"

I regained as much composure as I could and answered with a very calm "yes sir I do speak English."

again with the yelling! Now things are getting fun! Normally people are chicken shits and call me a whore and hang up before I have a chance to "professionally" redeem myself. There was allot of him telling me I didn't know how to speak English and how I needed to go back to India, (I have never been out of America before) and finally about 5 min in to the call I decide I need to get this guy to pay or get off the fucking phone.

"sir. I don't know what language you are speaking but I can't understand you. I apologize for the inconvenience but there are not "angleesh" speaking reps that work here. I wish I could help but I don't think we have a good connection because when I speak, you respond completely off subject. Sir I think you are the one not understanding "ENGLISH"" I say.

He hung up.

This is actually a good thing because now I can move on to bigger fish instead of begging for nothing. I welcome a hang up. I would rather have you hang up than lead me on and lie to me.

My point is; Don't cock a shit attitude with a bill collector unless you intend to let them cock their shit too.